That’s me in the picture above, bundled beyond recognition, out for walk with my mom in our Pittsburgh neighborhood. I look a little like Randy in A Christmas Story.
Given that this Sunday is Mother’s Day, I’ve been digging around web and reading about the origins of the celebration. While there’s always a good reason to celebrate mothers, I always assumed it was another holiday fabricated by the greeting card industry but what I learned surprised me. The following excerpt is from a Wikipedia article on the subject, the links however are mine should you feel like doing additional reading.
The United States celebrates Mother’s Day on the second Sunday in May. In the United States, Mother’s Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was imported by social activist Julia Ward Howe after the American Civil War. However, it was intended as a call to unite women against war. In 1870, she wrote the Mother’s Day Proclamation as a call for peace and disarmament. Howe failed in her attempt to get formal recognition of a Mother’s Day for Peace. Her idea was influenced by Ann Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker who, starting in 1858, had attempted to improve sanitation through what she called Mothers’ Work Days. She organized women throughout the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides, and in 1868 she began work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors.
When Jarvis died in 1907, her daughter, named Anna Jarvis, started the crusade to found a memorial day for women. The first such Mother’s Day was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia, on 10 May 1908, in the church where the elder Ann Jarvis had taught Sunday School. Originally the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church, this building is now the International Mother’s Day Shrine (a National Historic Landmark). From there, the custom caught on — spreading eventually to 45 states. The holiday was declared officially by some states beginning in 1912. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother’s Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.
Considering the state of the world today, with wars effecting so many families around the globe, the history of Mother’s Day resonates all the more poignant. My mother lost a brother in the Korean War and saw my father narrowly avoid the Vietnam draft. It’s hard for me to fathom losing a sibling or spouse, let alone a son or daughter to war. Sending out love and prayers to mothers with children in the military seems appropriate today.
My mother would not have chosen to post the photo above - depite the fact that she looks adorable. Me on the other hand - cute but why didn’t someone tell me to sit up straight?! It’s a little hard to see, but look at me rockin’ that 70’s style with a groovy white belt and red houndstooth check polyester pants. Mom, I know there must be better pictures of us - and I’m hoping they’re in your albums, ’cause there not in mine. As I’m unable to be with her on Sunday I’m sending a virtual big kiss and bear hug. Love you Mom.
“My son’s at that great age when bringing a flashlight to bed and telling stories about animal shadows is pretty much the best thing ever… Tonight, tired from a very busy day, he fell asleep midway through.” Above is a detail of a photograph by Raul Gutierrez.
Over the weekend I started reading a blog by Raul Gutierrez’ called Heading East. It was like walking into the middle of a interesting conversation and compelled me to start working my way through months of post archives. Raul’s a photographer, family man and an exceptionally good writer. In particular his observations as a new dad with two young sons are smart and poignant and funny. While I absolutely encourage you to ‘head east’ I also wanted to share the following post from February 13, 2006, Dark Waters.
“Do you have a metaphor for sleep? For most of my life I thought of sleep as a dark flowing river. I would often dream of being swept far and fast in the powerful enveloping current eventually finding myself on the banks of some foreign land always a moment before waking.
But last year my wife introduced me to a new metaphor. When our son was falling to sleep she would say she imagined tucking him into a small boat and pushing him out to sea. This is the shorthand we use around the house: “Has the boat launched?” I will ask, and she will shush me and say, “The boat is on shore, but the tide is coming in and we can walk it to the deep water.”
My wife’s image took hold and I dream of rivers no longer, now I see a starlit sea with groups of parents standing in pairs on the beaches gently pushing sailboats, kayaks, and canoes into the inky depths.
Sleep is one of the unspoken fears of new parents. When our children sleep we put our hands to their chests to check their breathing. Night is when sickness strikes. And there is always the terror that one day you will wake and they will be gone. In my new dreams the sight of the boats disappearing into the night is chilling, but I know it is a terror we must accept. Then in my dream stars fall from the sky and in the shadows we parents hold each other and sleep on the beach waiting for dawn. By morning the children are back from their night’s journey, changed by degrees, poking us, and watching us stir. And that’s where the dream pushes into the reality of the new day.
I wake up each morning and look at my son and wonder if this is a day he will remember. For a long time, I found it unspeakably sad knowing none of days of the last year would hold. He would not remember the unfettered joy of playing ball for the first time, he would not remember the discovery of oranges, and if something were to happen to his mother or myself, he would not remember us.
Each night we push him out into the deep and each morning he returns a slightly more complex human being. Our relationship changes as his personality grows. He is learning to say “no”. One day something we will disappoint him and he us. Things will change. And I’ve realized that these first years without memory are for us, the parents. The utter sweetness of these days is necessary not only to face the fears of that dark sea but because love is an abyss and these days give us the courage to dive in.”
Below are photobooth images of Raul’s adorable son. See more on Raul’s Flickr sets or portfolio.
There are so many great bloggers who have recently parlayed their special talents into print. And always striving to adhere to the universal rules of the playground I want to take the opportunity to share (which is rule #2, preceded only by rule #1 which is ‘play nice’) a few great new books and perhaps introduce you to some wonderful new blogs in the process. Given the context of the Junior Society I’ve selected this particular group because their ‘how-to’ books have kid-applicable content with either projects to create with your kids or for your kids. So go do a little exploring and then do a little shopping, adding great volumes to your shelves and supporting these creative ladies in the process.
Trying to name a pet can be tough. Trying to name a kid can be torture. Agonizing over whether or not to use a family, a name that sounds good with your last name, a name that won’t cause your kid to get the crap kicked out of them on the playground is all part of the joy of parenting. I discovered recently that the Social Security Administration maintains a searchable database of baby names ranked by popularity in a particular year and US state. Jacob and Emily won the popularity contest in 2006. It’s actually allot of fun to see where your own name stands in the rankings - apparently my name was the 5th most popular name the year I was born, and it’s popularity has decreased every year since.
According to the SSA website “All names are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States after 1879. Names are restricted to cases where the year of birth, sex, State of birth (50 States and District of Columbia) are on record, and where the given name is at least 2 characters long. Many people born before 1937 never applied for a Social Security card, so their names are not included in our data. For others who did apply, our records may not show the place of birth, and again their names are not included in our data.”
There are dozens and dozens of baby name indexes that you can access online such as BabyNames.com, BabyNamesWorld.com and ThinkBabyNames.com. But if you want a good laugh check out Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty. It’s a catalog of naming questions and suggestions posted on several different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001. All entries are left unedited except for length. Hysterical.
And if you are completely at a loss you could let the fates decide over at BabyNameGenie.com. Or consider the name generator over at BabyNamesEtc.com where they take into consideration your answers to such questions as “What’s your favorite pie?” Apparently my love of peach pie has resulted in twins named Marisela and Marcellus.
Ever had one of those days so filled with kiddie chaos that by the time you drag your weary feet into bed at night you’re thinking “I deserve a medal, or at the very least a badge!”
Well my friends, Amy Bower, mother of three, can relate and so she created Mama Merit Badges to acknowledge those daily accomplishments and feats of parenting. These 100% embroidered, 1 1/2″ iron-on badges can be worn on your diaper bag, stuck on your fridge or proudly displayed on your lapel. I love this irreverent award system as it invites public dialogue about and visual recognition for the unpaid and often ignored labor that is parenting. $5. each or $45. for the entire set.
Amy’s descriptions are hysterical and relatable. A couple examples:
Diapers
“Everyone has an episode of diapering significance! Have you experienced poop paintings on the wall, poop dripping from the Bjorn in the grocery store, poop in the tub, poop up the back and into your baby’s hair? Have you ever performed gymnastics trying to keep other siblings from getting into poop? Has your baby ever peed into your mouth? Explosive poops, indecent exposure, or cloth diapering; this badge tells your story.”
Birthdays
“Did you throw your one year old a party that was as expensive and fancy as a small wedding? Making cakes from scratch, renting jumping things for your yard, and having hideous character birthdays are all part of celebrating the passage of time. If you gritted your teeth and smiled as your 2 year daughter opened plastic high heels or you fed a bunch of 3 year old boys a dinosaur cake that had so much dye everyone pooped green for a week, you can wear this cupcake badge!”
Author and blogger Neal Pollack’s irreverent site AlternaDad has never failed to crack me up. He’s now editing/publishing a new online parenting magazine Offsprung which features the work of 12 bloggers (see below) with more on the way. Wry, offbeat and definitely left-leaning. Following is an excerpt from their introduction:”A new generation of parents is currently reinventing the very notion of parenthood, and, for that matter, of generations. Never before have human beings reproduced so interestingly, with such skepticism, and with such clever nicknames for their progeny. This important sociological development has only thus far been the subject of about 500 articles in the New York Times, and many far less important media outlets. That’s why we, a group of sexy and relatively clever parents, decided to start Offsprung Media.Even though we’ve only met briefly on the Internet and through a series of semi-annoying conference calls, we know that we’re the right people for the job. We hope you join us on this magical voyage as we express how we FEEL about being parents, and about how all other parents who express themselves about being parents are total phony liars. Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you Offsprung, an entirely craft-free online parenting magazine community for the modern age.
We feature the sharpest, funniest writers on the Internet, each one eviscerating, or at least challenging, a different excess of that culture. Here are some of them now:
Matthew Tobey brings us The Cleaver, the final word on the absurd and semi-evil world of celebrity parenting hype.
Christopher Monks has created Dadsmacker, the first-ever blog totally devoted to taking on the pretensions of “hipster” parenting, a ridiculous movement that no one on this site has been involved with in the slightest.
Amanda Marcotte, the scourge of Catholicism, brings you Unsprung, which should make Christian right “pro-family” moralists shake in their hypocrisy suits.
Amy Davis keeps the shark from jumping on Huxtabled, serving as our primary tastemaker in the world of video-based children’s entertainment.
Leigh Anne Wilson, operator of the Honeysuckle Shop, a well-regarded online sex-toys establishment, writes all about matters orgasmic in Lock The Bedroom Door.
Dara Grumdahl, a James Beard award-winning food writer, puts the American diet to shame with Defamisher.
Alternadad Neal Pollack will dispense parenting advice with the help of his trusty Silver Surfer.
And they are just the tip of a thick, brilliant iceberg of talent. Over the next few weeks, Offsprung will launch nearly 20 blogs, all of them hilarious and incisive. And we’ll be bringing you so many other features. You’re not going to believe what hit you, people. Soon, it will be hard to imagine your lives without Offsprung.”
